Anarchist Astrology 2012

Know Your Prophecies

Many of us are baffled by rumors circulating this year about the end of the world. Friends who once seemed stable are now spouting rhetoric of impending doom. Instead of arguing, sometimes it can be more helpful to listen and think about why the person finds the myth appealing. A huge motivator behind the idea of the apocalypse is despair, merged with a bit of laziness. It is far easier to say “the world is ending, so why bother” than to actually get up and confront the huge problems we face. But myths don’t have to de-motivate us. A myth can be a powerful tool, creating an epic backdrop while we build the world we seek. To shed some light on these “dark times,” here’s a guide to this year’s apocalyptic murmuring:

RUMOR: The Mayan calendar ends in 2012.

ACTUALLY: The Mayan calendar is cyclical and will never end. Each cycle is about 395 years and called a b’ak’tun. On Dec 21 of this year, the 13th b’ak’tun will end.

RUMOR: Ancient Mayans predicted a cataclysm at the end of the 13th b’ak’tun.

BUT THE THING IS: Not a single Mayan text or tradition says this. In 1701, a Catholic friar wrote the Popol Wu’uj, a collection of Mayan myths. According to one of these myths, the gods created and destroyed 3 failed worlds before creating the 4th world, in which we live. The 3rd world lasted 13 b’ak’tuns. In the 1960s, Michael D. Coe, a CIA agent turned anthropologist, speculated that contemporary Mayans must believe that the world will be destroyed again after 13 b’ak’tuns. But the Maya do not believe this – it was entirely invented by outsiders.

RUMOR: The Earth will align with the Galactic Center on Dec 21.

SORRY, BUT: The most perfect alignment between the Earth, Sun and the center of the Milky Way occurred on Dec 21, 1998. Sorry, you missed it!

RUMOR: On Dec 21, the magnetic poles will reverse and everyone will die!

CHILL OUT: Geomagnetic pole reversals happen sporadically & cannot be predicted. Also, polar shifts aren’t instant, but occur gradually over thousands of years. The only thing you might notice is your compass pointing a little more south each decade.

CALM DOWN: With stellar spectroscopy (try it at home), we can see that the sun has 5 billion years worth of fuel left. Life on Earth might even last that long, if we don’t fuck it up.

RUMOR: Capitalism is in the process of collapsing.

AND PIGS CAN FLY: Capitalism has more or less collapsed 8 times now. The worst was perhaps the recession of the 1890s, when entire countries went bankrupt and the populace overthrew governments globally. Individual political and economic systems entirely collapsed, but capitalism just started over. Likewise, this recent “economic collapse” has ended nothing. Capitalism is now stronger than ever in its march towards global consumption. The seed of capitalism is capital (money/credit/specie). Capitalism is a social behavior in which people transform every aspect of life into something that can be bought or sold. To kill the beast, we must retool our social relations to not include capital.

HAVE YOU HEARD: According to astrologers, the 2400-year-long Age of Pisces is in the process of ending, to be replaced by the Age of Aquarius. Pisces is represented by two fish with their tails tied together and is often associated with obsessive spirituality, weak will, escapism, and confusion. Aquarius, on the other hand, is represented by a person pouring out a jug of water, dispensing it freely to all. The water represents truth. It is said that the Age of Aquarius will bring a new society ruled by honesty, innovation, humanitarianism, and intellectualism.

MURMURINGS: In the summer of 2010, a rare astrological alignment occurred called a Grand Cross. It began on June 21, 2010, and was active on and off for about two months. It is said this alignment merged revolution with rebirth, forcing everyone to undergo subtle, psychological changes that will begin to consciously surface over the next few years. Some astrologers mark the 2010 Grand Cross as the end of the Age of Pisces.

STRANGE WHISPERS: Within the psychic community, people who call themselves Lightworkers have been transmitting revolutionary energy for the past several years. They have something special planned for Dec 21. …and perhaps for February 29th as well.

AND: Some people believe that everyone born between 1979 and 2000 is part of a generation called the Indigo Children. Named for their brilliant purple auras, Indigos are highly energetic and deeply psychic. Hierarchy makes no sense to them: they believe that everyone is royal should be free to rule ourselves. The guardians of capitalism have attempted to repress the Indigos, labeling them as “unproductive” and “mentally ill,” forcing them to take mind-numbing productivity drugs. But the Indigo Generation will not be held down forever. Some prophets say the Indigos will soon rise up and lead us to a new world.

LEAP OF FAITH: Long ago, a loose collective of people called the Tohsgnils noticed that the yearly movement of the sun did not align with the daily rotation of the planet, causing an extra day to appear every 4 years. The money lenders worked to suppress this magical day, telling people to ignore it, to continue their toil. But the Tohsgnils sensed that untapped energy vibrated within this extra day. They prophesied that on February 29, 2012, the populace would rise up and claim this day for the Leap Day Revolt, igniting the 2012 Uprising.