- Take a few deep breaths
- Show the person/people respect
- Ask them to show you respect
- Tell them your first name, ask for theirs and use it often
- Use a low, calm tone of voice
- Use non-inflammatory language
- Use a non-threatening body posture (sit down, give them space)
- Don’t make sudden movements
- Keep people from crowding around and talking over one another
- If you’re already sitting down and you want to get up, do so slowly
- Look them in the eye, but let them avoid eye contact if they want
- Avoid using substances that interfere with clear thinking
- Be honest and sincere
- Ask them what it is they want and how you can help
- Listen intently, and don’t talk until they’re through venting
- Without necessarily agreeing, let them know you understand their position
- Tell them what you think they are trying to tell you
- Tell them what you like about their position
- Validate and show an understanding of their situation
- Don’t debate the issue or confront their complaint directly, instead calmly communicate your reasons for your actions
- If you feel frustrated or you’re not getting anywhere, step back and let another person take over
- Clarify any possible misunderstandings
- Clearly tell them what you want
- Assure them that you want them to be treated fairly
- If the person is out of control, shift their attention away from sources of anger
- Find a common ground to build trust on
- Agree to disagree
- Be aware of other people’s boundaries
- State the obvious (I don’t want to fight)
- Leave them an honorable way out
- Don’t take yourself too seriously
- Get advice from someone you trust
- Walk away
from The Earth First! Direct Action Manual